For Men: Choose a Wife Wisely and Carefully
May 15, · Don't hire (or marry) any of them, but as soon as you meet a candidate who's better than the best of that first group — that's the one you choose! Author: Robert Krulwich. Feb 23, · 1. Do you share similar interests and beliefs? The woman you marry should have many of the same beliefs and interests as 2. Does she have a good upbringing? She should be brought up in a loving home or at least have strong values and a good 3. Is she successful? A good wife will have.
How do you choose the right woman to marry? So where does that leave you. How are you going to choose a wife and make sure you get it right first time? One said to me with slurred speech:. The Ugandan girl will bear you many children and work hard in your farm.
It was difficult to argue with his logic, but having two wives to cover all my bases was never an option. Plus I like growing my own food — why would I let someone else do it for me?
What, then are you left with? These include religious background, shared values, whether there are kids, at what stage the marriage fails etc etc. But more so. When you think of a movie how to copy music from computer to iphone 5 ended poorly, what do you think of? Sex is not a God-given right in marriage any more than good health or financial stability.
Of course intimacy is an important part of marriage but why make it the glue that keeps things together? There are several reasons for this, one of which is my Christian faith. It was about something more — something deeper than that. It was a deeply held connection and understanding that we worked well together right from the starting gun. When I decided that I wanted how to choose the right woman to marry wife and I to date, I came out and said something along the lines of:.
Nearly eight years on I was right — we do work well together and do make a good team. Plus the sex what is a push reel mower. This was my mistake as a young man.
I would chase after girls who I thought would look good on the end of my arm. Or that would impress other people with the sporting prowess, intelligence or academic success. How could I have been so off beam?
Or would she just be another accessory like my expensive wool suit, new car or Swiss watch that I actually bought in Switzerland? Eventually I saw sense and, having a clear vision for my life, I looked for a girl who wanted to share in that vision. An important part of this was asking myself this question: Does she want children?
And if so, what kind of mother would she be? This meant I needed to know what she was like around children and how she was seen within her extended family. Did her cousins and younger siblings look up to her as a matriarchal figure? Was she physically able to bear children? What did she think about parental discipline? Etc etc.
A marriage failing can be a depressing and expensive business, especially for Dads. Not great options. Which is why getting it right first time makes a whole lot more sense. So get it right first or maybe second time. Having those shared values and personal compatibility as being above how to choose the right woman to marry attraction is what has made my marriage as strong as it is.
Sure we both screw up from time to timehave a fight and get annoyed. But I digress. For all the protein powder this slogan has sold however, the principle is sound. Shared values mean stronger relationships. Shared values overcome the obstacles and annoying habits that would make married life otherwise unbearable. But for the younger guys who read this — be warned to steer clear of the trophies and the promises of sexual gratification. These things may fade with time but true compatibility will not.
All of these things are fragile. But the marriages that last transcend these into deeper love, mutual respect and resilient partnership. Helped by this? Sign up here. Neil has been writing for a number of years.
He has worked as a how to make an oven on minecraft writer both in the UK and internationally and has worked on a number of high profile media projects.
Neil spends his spare time hiking, in the gym or hanging out with his family. Made those exact 2 mistakes with a girl I dated a few years ago at it like rabbits and she was studying to be a doctor. Our entire 6 months LOL were based off that and once any problems hit she bailed, was devastated at the time but now I just wonder what I was doing….
Sounds like a good one to learn from. The shared values and compatibility are a big part of that story. Hi Steve thanks for commenting. If you are looking for a wife who is into fitness how to choose the right woman to marry keeping healthy, is she more likely to be in KFC or in night classes learning how to cook vegan? Main Search Social media. Why Do Marriages Fail? Some would say that marriage is a contract.
In legal terms, yes, there is a contractual element. Sex When you think of a movie that ended poorly, what do you think of? Would my strengths and her strengths meet in an apex of greatness? Why Choosing the Right Woman Matters A marriage failing can be a depressing and expensive business, especially for Dads. Neil P. About Neil M White Neil has been writing for a number of years. Visit website. Our entire 6 months LOL were based off that and once any problems hit she bailed, was devastated at the time but now I just wonder what I was doing… Values and compatibility last longer than puppy love.
No sweat Neil — I laugh about it now!
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The best way to find committed women is always to create a character that will appeal to your new chance not to be alone. It is accurate that males are developed from arrival to attract only the kind of ladies they are likely to attract. As a result, if you want to locate a woman to marry. The perfect woman for them is a woman who will always be there for him, take care of him, and also take care of yourself. So if you have someone like that in your life, hold them close and never let them go. If you want to know more about what kind of woman a man chooses to marry, then check out this video below: ? Originally appeared on Your.
Marriage is a wonderful institution. There is nothing like having the perfect mate to travel along the journey of life. What makes it special is when you have chosen someone that not necessarily shares all the interests you have, but at least respects them—and you respect hers as well. Sure, marriage has its challenges. The key is choosing the right mate from the very beginning.
By the end of this writing, I hope to have shared a bit of wisdom on how to choose a mate wisely and carefully. Men, understand that women are different. They think differently than we do! They love, unlike men. They hurt, unlike men.
Some can be more forgiving; some less forgiving. That is why it is essential that you get to know how she thinks, how she reacts to situations, her values, her upbringing, why she does what she does, etc.
Unfortunately, as men, we tend to focus on those visual things that stimulate us and choose based solely on these things see picture above. Physical beauty, wonderful words, affection, and sexual prowess are things that some men signal in on initially. Sometimes, these things become the predominant reasons to begin and continue a relationship.
While they are important, they should not be the highest priorities in engaging in a long-term relationship that could lead to marriage.
I have talked to men that have been in relationships for over five years and many of them are downright miserable. Some are scared of their mates. Some dread going home to nagging. Many engage in extra-marital relationships because communication and physical activity has diminished.
Women may disagree, but many men cheat because they have tried and tried but the spouse does not reciprocate this is not a justification, it is an explanation. Women should not be hurt in relationships and men should not be miserable in them, either.
Enumerated below are some tips that should be helpful in finding the right mate for a lifelong, marital relationship - based on mutual respect, love and trust. The woman you marry should have many of the same beliefs and interests as you. This doesn't mean that she can't have her own.
It means that there should be interests and beliefs you have in common. She should be brought up in a loving home or at least have strong values and a good understanding of family life. She should respect others and love her parents. She should have good manners. This type of person will turn on you and make your life miserable. It is best she be left to her other unmarried female friends. Leave them to whine and commiserate over why no man wants to be with them in marriage.
Maybe she will finally figure it out. A good wife will have achievements and successes that made her successful long before you came around. When you choose a wife, choose someone who has goals and aspirations in life that go beyond wanting to get married. Marry someone that is well educated. By this, I do not mean someone who has numerous degrees. I am talking about someone that is versatile and can have a discussion on various topics. I know women who have high school diplomas but can have more interesting conversations than those that have doctoral degrees.
Again, I am not just talking about looks here. Does this woman attract you? Are you drawn to her? Is her quirky humor something you love and do her dimples make your heart melt? She doesn't have to be a bombshell, but there's got to be something about a woman, more than externally, that makes you want to choose her as a wife. Life is not only about work, kids, career, etc.
Life and marriage should also include loads of laughter, fun and humor. Laughter and fun should come easy and not be forced. This is very easy to determine. If she consistently has to have nice things but fails to even provide you with a gift during special times, you need to run away as fast as you can! This person is stuck on herself and will drain you dry financially and emotionally in a marriage. This doesn't mean that you should be cheap. It means that you should carefully watch and analyze her in different situations.
Find out if she has any bankruptcies, judgements or a bad credit history. Trust me, she is trying to find this out about you. Don't be stuck on stupid, men! Your emotional, physical and financial security depends on you knowing how she acted in previous relationships, if any.
Find out as subtlety as possible. You can't interrogate her or her friends and family like the FBI! However, you can ask questions in a non-prodding, non-intrusive way. Use humor to illicit answers. If you are listening carefully, watching closely for non-verbal signs, etc. Let her know that you are not the man she was with previously. When necessary, let this be known clearly and unequivocally. Be very clear, if necessary, that you will not be disrespected nor mistreated, in any way.
Let's be fair, she expects the same from you. When people are "openly dating," there is an understanding that no commitment is in place. It is understood and agreed by both parties that they will "see" other people. When a commitment is in place, both parties understand and agree that a monogamous relationship is in order. For example, if a teacher gives an exam and clearly states that you cannot use any material to assist, an understanding is in place.
If you decide to use methods that go against this understanding, you are cheating whether you are caught or not. If the teacher states that an exam is "open book" and any materials can be used to assist, there is a clear understanding. If you decide to use your book, this is not cheating. Men, don't be fooled.
Women cheat on their boyfriends and husbands. This is a fact. Don't listen to those that try to excuse or justify the behavior of women that act inappropriately. If it is wrong for men to cheat, it is wrong for women. You need to inquire of your potential wife as to whether or not she has engaged in this type of behavior. An affirmative answer alone should not deter you from marrying her.
You need to find out the reasons why and determine if she justifies this behavior or if she is generally remorseful for the deceit. Do not believe the adage that "once a cheat always a cheat.
But you have to be very careful and watchful. For emotional, physical and health reasons, you have a right to know if she is exposing you to possible physical DRAMA with another man as well as serious sexually transmitted diseases. Ask pointed questions and be observant. She does not want a potential husband that will put her life at risk. You deserve the same respect! Actions speak louder than words. Some of the best liars are outstanding communicators. That's what make them great at deceiving others.
It is not what she says, it's how she says it and what she does. If your car stops on a less travelled road, will she get out of bed to come and get you without debate?
Does she comfort you when you are sick? Does she side with you when you are right, even at the expense of losing a good friend, who is obviously wrong? Is she supportive of your career aspirations? Does she accept you for the wonderful person you are or is she attempting to change you? Don't just listen to her say she loves you. Observe how she loves you. More than any quiz, date or trial living arrangement will tell, you can usually know who to choose as a wife just by the feeling you get when you are around her.
If you have spent enough time with the woman to truly know her, and if the thought of spending your life with her not only excites you, but makes you long for the day, then you've probably hit upon that precious feeling that will likely leave you on one knee.